I couldn’t decide which picture was cutest, so I combined them. I love his smile in both of them. Stephen likes to initiate the hugs. I had to set the timer and literally chase him and force my hugs and kisses on him for these shots. I knew this weekend that he was coming down with something. How do I know with Stephen? He becomes a tornado! An F5 or above-like tornado. He’s about an f2 or so on a daily basis. Hence, the nickname Tazangel. I used to call him Tasmanian devil, but my mom thought it was a sin to have the name devil in his nickname, so I changed it. Usually, it’s just “Taz.” I was looking in the folder where I keep copies of his absence excuses and it was exactly one month ago, he went to the Dr. with severe asthma attacks. He missed 9 days of school last month. I believe that his heart condition makes it worse. Considering the way he is this morning, I would guess that it’ll be the middle of next week or later before he goes back to school. So much for Thursday Sweep. Pam just called me. She was so excited about tomorrow, then I had to let her down. I’m just excited that she’s excited to come back! I realized last month that I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. I know a few moms who have special needs children and their houses are so nice and organized. This made me doubt myself as a wife and mother. Why couldn’t I do it? They can! Last month I found out they all have the same housekeeper. Housekeeper? What’s that? That’s my job! I no longer beat myself up over not being superwoman. I just need a nanny and housekeeper. Yeah, when I win the lottery. I figured last night that I put in a 19 hr day! I’m always the first to get up, and the last to go to bed. Then, I can’t sleep. No wonder I look like hell and I’m losing weight. All those on diets, I’ll loan Stephen to you for one week, trust me, you won’t need a gym :P He’s also my personal weight machine. Seriously, I feel myself getting sick again. I need a vacation. I need low lights, and soft music. I need a warm beach. I need to be still and get wrapped up in a breathtaking sunset. I need a meal that I didn’t slave over. The one person I never spend enough time with is me. Yet, I feel lonely. How can that be? Must be the worry and lack of sleep, I find myself rambling on. I need more coffee. Keep Stephen in your prayers for me? I feel as though I open my mouth to pray and my words fall to the floor. I’m not getting through…
20 comments:
I really like the way you write. Your journal is like a diary, but has the personal insights that make it an interesting read. Enjoyed visiting! ~Holly
Mia, I will keep BOTH you and Stephen in my prayers. (Love the photos!)
From what I read here, it seems like you need a break away from everyone at home. Everyone needs this now and again and I hope you don't feel bad or guilty that you want it. It's time like this that I wish I was filthy rich so I could treat people who deserve to be treated like queens. I wish you were coming on the cruise with me and DiAnne.
I'm thinking of you, sweetie. Hang in there.
Holly-Thanks for visiting! Always nice to have a new visitor! I'm on my way to your journal now :)
Andrea-Please, take me with you! :P I thought Ken was going with you. You're going w/DiAnne? I am SO jealous. (I'd rather go with girlfriends too, you know..get away from everything at home like you said) My best friend and I have dreamed about it for years.
{{{{Mia}}}} I can understand how you feel. Honestly. My middle son has some issues regarding his health that I have just never opened up in my journal about yet. It can be overwhelming and you do need a break every now and then. I hope you can find a way to get some rest though. You are probably wearing yourself down. I will definitely keep both you and Stephen in my prayers. I love BOTH pics too. :-) Just keep being yourself Mia,let the rest take care of itself.
Much love,
~RC
RC-"let the rest take care of itself" That's good advice. It must be, that's what I always tell others :) Thanks, dear!
{{{{{Mia}}}}} I'm sorry to hear that my buddy is sick :( and you're wearing down too...I'm praying that {{{{Stephen }}}}} gets better soon and that an angel rescues you and allows you to have some quality time with yourself...I'll be praying for that. I loved the pics! My favorite is the one on the right :)
Poor Stephen, I hope he feels better. Yet look at that smile, how can you not fall for someone who smiles radiantly like that in spite of health challenges?
Dear Mia, do take a break. Remember how in plane flights they always tell the adult to put the oxygen mask on themselves first before they put it on a child? You can't take care of those you love if you are too exhausted or falling apart. You are the most loving, dedicated mother I know, you more than deserve it!
Vivian-thanks for your words and your prayers. I like the one on the right too. He's getting so big, it's getting hard to hold him down and kiss him :)
Mara-Thanks for your prayers too. Thank God, so many are praying right now :) Trish tells me the same thing all the time. "Put my oxygen mask on first" Thanks for reminding me.
Mia - the pictures are wondrous! We're with Viv - Like the picture of you sharing smooches! Reminded me of an image we have of a mama deer attending to her fawn. Maybe sooner than the big trip you could sooner work in a deal with your hubby that you get "X" amount of hours off during the week to treat yourself to some "independence" time? Maybe he should advance a few dollars as well? And, PLEASE check into hospice services! Our love, Ayn and all
I love these pictures of mommy and child. Very precious, Mia. I'm sorry to hear he's getting sick again. Trust me...after what I went through with Parker a few weeks ago...I am so empathetic!
BTW...I'm considering a housekeeper. Between 2 full-time jobs (OR nurse and mommy), I just don't have time for cleaning. It's depressing to come home to a messy house. I think it would be worth the extra money. Doug's not so certain. Then again...Doug's not the one who has to clean either. =)
Ayn-Hey, hon! I need to visit your J bc I have had you on my mind. That's a thoughtful suggestion, having daddy to give me some time :) Usually, it takes me, getting sick enough for the hospital :P Hospice would be a dream
Bridgette-yes, girl, get a housekeeper! Trust me, I'd do it in a NY minute if I could and wouldn't feel guilty at all! :) I'll visit you soon too!
Awww, honey.... you sound so overwhelmed. I think I know how you feel.. but really, I don't. Try to take each day at a time... each breath at a time! Don't forget to ask for help. And don't worry about the house. Tackle one corner a day, if even that. It's just not IMPORTANT! I'll be praying for Stephen and for you. And hoping you get some kind of vacation soon.. even if it's spent alone on your back porch. ::hugs:: Luv you.
SloMo-Of course you feel overwhelmed at times. I know you can relate. Especially these days, being home w/the kids and getting ready for your new house and all. That is all a lot of pressure too. I'll try to remember that the table and chairs on my porch are for more than just decor! :) As always, thanks for the kind words! Love you too!
Mia ~ My thoughts are with you and Stephen - always. Take care of yourself. Take some time for yourself too. Take a vacation - from the 'ordinary' even. Take a walk. A long hot bubble bath. Read. Sit in silence and breathe. Love you!
Awe, Freee! You know that I love you too. Thanks for always encouraging me in your special way!
Everyone who has commented and sent cyber hugs...
~Thanks!~
Oh Mia!! It sounds like Wednesday was a rough day for you. I sure hope your week has gotten better. I'd take him for a day if I were closer. Then you could do all those things you speak of. But, knowing what little I do know about you, you would probably worry about Stephen all day instead. ;-) ---Robbie
it's funny that I read "superwoman" in this entry. because I was going to say that in my first comment..but, I didn't want to be too preachy. : ) My son has that same way about him, he winds up and gets all revved and wont settle down...like last night. I was up until 4:30am...tired woman here. though, nothing compared to you.
yes, I will keep you and stephen and daddy in my prayers. If I ever win the lotto...be expecting an email asking for list of things you would like. :)
Robbie~You are so sweet, and also so right. Even when Stephen is with his dad, I worry. Heck when he's with me, I worry. That's just what I do best :) However, I know he's always in good hands with most, it's so easy to love him, and I know he'd be in good hands with you :)
Babyshark-Awww, you're so kind :) Bless your heart, I know how those long nights are. Hope you were able to get some rest.
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