WELCOME TO HOLLAND
By::Emily Perl Kingsley
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
8 comments:
((mia)) That is the single most beautiful thing I have ever read. great job!! I felt your loss, but I also felt the joy you found in your windmills, and tulips and rembrandts. And god bless those who have always or ever will know "Holland" to them, joy surrounds them everyday. :)
Beautiful post. I've read this somewhere before. Have you posted it before? It's a wonderful reminder - for all of us - for many reasons. Seems AOL-JLand is going deep tonight - and I for one am more than grateful. THIS is why I choose breath! Thank you Mia. Love you!
Wow... what an amazing analogy. ::sigh:: Definitely puts it all into perspective. And I feel I owe you some apology, Mia - for all my senseless bragging about Italy. Darlin', I never really liked Italy that much to begin with. I always wanted to go to France. I say you and I pack our bags and head off to see the Eiffel Tower! ::wink::
Ah dreams.... I not making light of this. You already know how I feel. Love you. :)
Aw, SloMo, you're so thoughtful and sensitive. I know that some of my friends try to hold back talking about their lives, but it helps me to feel a part of it. Spending time with my friends children helps me feel that sense of normalcy I'm missing. ...and sometimes, i have to admit-after spending a few hours with their questions, and talking..I'm ready to go snuggle up with what I know as normal. His big smile. heck, I talk enough for myself AND him :P Yes let's go to France!
We didn't sign up for Holland but have met some special people there. I went to Holland the first time and then went to Italy 4x.Holland has navigational and lanquage problems but so does Italy.I didn't sign up for Holland but I chose to stay.I am still learning the lanquage but the people are patient and caring. We will share what we learn with you and Stephen but Holland can never really be shared. It is a unique experience for everyone.
Enjoy Holland. You are a beautiful mom. God WILL bless you for it.
This entry made me tear up. You are such a wonderful person and mom, Mia. It is so like you to see the blessings in the special life you have with Stephen. You are an inspiration.
YOUR SO RIGHT! If you spend your time greiving over what GOD has given you that is SO VERY SPECIAL and not many ppk get that gift then your not gonna see what makes him jsut a blessing! I wish you the very best in life and i hope you see all the little things about him that makes him a BLESSIN IN LIFE! *!ShAy!*
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