When you’re the parent of a child with any form of disability, believe me, you’d do anything to make them, what society has labeled as, “normal.” I’d probably even take him to a witchdoctor if I really thought there was a chance he could be made whole. I remember a few years back, we took him, in the dead of cold winter to a TV evangelist, with hopes that when we left, he would be “healed.” Another disappointment. He had a severe asthma attack in the cold wind, while we waited in line for 3 hrs to get in. After a while inside, he was crying so loud, we were asked to leave bc the show was being taped and he was interfering with the audio system. Let me tell you right now, how hurt we felt. I still support my God and my local church, but that’s the extent of it. We gave an offering that we could not afford to a man in a white suit, who owns a private jet, and was asked to take our crying child and leave. Without our miracle. Another little girl about Stephen’s age, had CP and was in a wheelchair, and she too was asked to leave bc she was crying. The verse that comes to mind is~Mark 10:13-16 13. People were bringing little children to Jesus to have Him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. 14. When Jesus saw this, He was indignant. He said to them
, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” 16. And He took the children in His arms, put His hands on them and blessed them.I’d be lying if I said that I don’t still pray every day for God to “heal” Stephen. As a matter of fact, it hit me at the oddest moment today. I was sweeping the kitchen floor, and I had to put my broom against the wall and I sat at the table in tears, asking God for three things. 1. Why? 2. Please, heal him. 3. If you’re not going to answer the first two, help me cope with the loss that I still feel. I'm so tired of the grieving.
8 comments:
((mia)) Gosh, I just posted a comment, so near to tears...and then when I come back, your smiling face and stephens come into view! And now I can't hold back any tears. Another great entry. I can't believe what you went through! Reason #1 why I don't respect tv evangelists. and your verse was soo right on! *sigh* I wish my prayers could help you, and in a way, I know they will. I don't know how, but they always help in some kind of way.
Trust that Stephen is on a path chosen by him, for him. The same is true for you. Stephen is healed. He is whole. He is your healer. [and vice versa] I would never try to talk you out of your feelings or experiences. I support you in your healing. If grieving is the way through, then grieve away. I hold you. Your vulnerability and willingness to be honest is the way to acceptance, love and healing. Love you.
Mia.. I'm so sorry.. I'm so, so, so, so sorry. The fact that people like that exist in this world, manipulating the hopes and prayers of others in order to make money. It's appalling. I believe in miracles, but I don't believe any man in a white suit with a private jet is performing them. I can understand your desperation, though, and your hope. I'm praying for you.. and for the doctors that they might figure out some way, someday, to help Stephen.. and you.
Oh, Mia. No other Journaler brings me to tears like you do. Not because you're struggling with this situation, but because you're beautiful IN this situation. I read about how heartbroken you feel about Stephen never reaching ::normalcy:: but your love and patience for him oozes out of every word you type.
I'm sorry Stephen won't ever be normal. And I'm sorry for the extra burden that's put on your family. But there has to be a reason, doesn't there? ::sigh::
We will never know why... but the love our sons give us is filled with answers from God. The unconditional love He has for us is evident in the boys. Love of that magnitude is only given by the Father. Stephen and Jonathan are miracles. It is not wrong to have dreams and questions.Hope and wonder keep us alive.Those who do not have time to share God's love and purpose for our boys are the ones missing out on the meaning of faith and evangelism!
I believe that EVERYONE will touch the life of somebody. Stephen was put here on earth to make a difference in someone's life. Maybe yours. Maybe someone he hasn't met yet. He looks and sounds like a remarkable boy, and I believe that the best is yet to come . . . .JUST AS HE IS.
My heart goes out to you. I'm almost speechless, I can only imagine your grief. I hope that your prayers, at the very least the third one, are answered soon.
Your the only journal besides my aunts to make me CRY! Im so sorry that you struggle wit this! But GOD shouldnt haev to change ANYONE but the way you are looking at this! You see how happy he looks! You should be more happy then you are! GOD has blessed you with someone so LOVING..kids are a gift from god..you should never ask him to CHANGE him! Your son is a BLESSING for someone and it just might be your HEART the blessin is meant for! *!ShAy!*
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