I have to make this quick and simple..Here is my weekend project. Thing about me is, if you want me to turn it in on time...this is the quality you'll get :-/
The worst advice I ever received :: Do whatever makes you happy. Follow your heart.
The worst advice I ever gave :: [Ironically]… do what you know is right. Don't trust your emotions.
Go figure
As you can see, he is one who *smiles* no matter what.
That was my 25th AOL Journal entry. 5th sentence. Penny posted hers, and challenged all of us to do the same. Apparently, a few journalers (I don't know who, but I'd like to thank them) started this. It was a neat experience for me this morning.
::oops:: After reading this a second time, I see the assignment was supposed to be the 5th sentence of the 23rd entry. Oh, well. I haven't got the time to do this all over. This, my journal friends is an example of how sleep and nutrition deprived I am. I could delete this, do it all over, and you'd never know that I messed up. But, then you'd have nothing to laugh about right now, now would you? Besides, this was going to partly be my entry today anyway...
Here's what you do::
1) Go into your AOL-J archives.
2) Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3) Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4) Post the text of the sentence in your AOL-J along with these instructions.
Ironically, the day I posted that entry, Stephen was sick. Just like he is now. I guess that's the average news of our house. The day I made that entry, it was early October, and it was his 5th day to miss school. This has been a roller-coaster school year. It started out on the wrong foot, then it got a little better, then..my faith was finally restored (almost) and then took a turn for the worse again last week. Thank God, summer is almost here. He's missed close to 50 days if not more I stopped keeping up with it. Maybe, I am over protective. Maybe, I shelter him too much. But, at least when he's with me, 24/7 he's not sick every time we turn around. I keep his hands washed, and his room dust and germ-free. His hands are often filthy when he gets home every day from playing on the playground. He keeps his hands in his mouth a lot of the time. Thus, always coming down with something. He gets sick so easy, and when he does, it takes so long for him to shake it. I've had to start breathing treatments again. Because of his heart deformity, he suffers when he has a cold.
I was going to make a post this morning, telling you all that Stephen is sick and needs your prayers and get-well vibes, and post the very picture that I posted the day I made that 25th entry. So, I'm gonna keep it that way. Even though it's supposed to be your 23rd entry :)
I know you haven't been seeing me around very much this week. I did visit a lot of journals, but didn't leave replies on all of them. I'm terribly sorry about that. I have so little free time. After I've read someone's journal entry and don't leave a comment, I feel as though I've been to your home, looked in your window and didn't ring the doorbell to say hi. I promise, I'll try to make myself at least say "hello" before I leave your journals. That way, I won't be considered a Peeping Tom. :P
Please, pray for Stephen to get better. Pray for me to overcome my health problems so I can be a better mother. I've been sick with my "mystery illness" again for the last 2 months. I have a very sad fear that whatever is wrong with me, is going to be the death of me. Then, they'll diagnose it. Too late. I also have a feeling, that if I had a hysterectomy, it might help, because it's a cyclic type illness. I'm not ready to say, "I'll never have another child" even though, I know in my heart that I won't. Yet, I can't take proper care of Stephen and all of my other duties if I am sick for 2 weeks of every month. I can't figure out why I was getting better after my last procedure in the hospital, in November. Then, in March it hit me again like a ton of bricks. I'm so tired of doctors blaming it on stress. I think they say that too often to women, and too often when they are clueless. I do agree with all of the doctors on one thing. ...I need a vacation. I feel guilty for wanting time away from Stephen. From his dad. I keep having the same fantasy over and over. Me, by myself, all alone on a beach somewhere, reading my favorite book, sipping on something cold. It's so funny to think that someone who never wanted to be alone, desires that so much now. I don't want to be alone forever...just for a week or two. Don't we all want that? Need that? Time away from our family, our responsibilities. Recharge. Get to know yourself a little better.
Until next time...Lift Stephen up in your prayers, please! Have a nice weekend. If you do this little project, leave your link in my comment section so I can come over and be nosy :)
take care!
The above photo is my cat, Patches. We have two cats. You may have read about them before, here and here.
See, my cats are indoor/outdoor cats. We live in the country. Who am I kidding? We live way-back in the country. Off the main road. You'd get lost, if you tried to find us out here. We used to have a problem with field mice. As you know, if you've been reading my journal faithfully, I scream like a little girl when I see a mouse. I am grateful that my cats keep those nasty, little devils away from my house. However, that doesn't mean that I want to see or hear them killing the poor little things. This morning, after finishing my weekend project and getting it posted, my husband came home to get his invoice book, and started yelling at Puzzle, "Leave that thing alone!" I went outside because I wanted to make sure that she didn't bring whatever she was killing on my front porch as a gift for me. (They do that) I saw that it was a little ground squirrel! I yelled, "Puzzle, NO!" She chased it under the porch, I asked Paul if he was going to do something, he says, "What can I do? They are cats, that's what they do!" "Not if I can help it!" I said. I got my broom, and tried to make her leave it alone. By that time, Patches (the baby cat) got curious, and they gained up on it. Paul got some milk and poured into a bowl, because normally, they drop whatever they are doing for milk or a can of tuna. Nope, not this time. The squirrel managed to break free, and ran onto our porch while we got the cats attention for one second, and Paul put on a welding glove to pick it up and was going to put it in a place of safety. The poor thing didn't know what to do, who to trust. I don't know what the poor thing was thinking, it got confused and ran right back to Patches! She chased it under the storage building. As hard as I tried, and yelled, she didn't come back out. I know it's too late, and I feel horrible! I love my cats, and I know that's what cats do, but I can't get stuff like that out of my head.
There I stood, broom in one hand, rocks in the other, yelling under the storage building, "You are NOT coming back in the house today! I mean it! You mean thing, you!No milk or tuna for you, young lady!!" I turned around, Paul had already left, because a contractor was waiting on him at the jobsite, and I was all alone. I did see three of my neighbors looking at me like I was crazy. One woman made her children come in the house, and an elderly man was laughing and shaking his head at me. I had been yelling as loud as my lungs would allow it, and that alone would be enough to make them come out to see what the fuss was all about. I tried to call my mom to share the sad news with her, but she isn't home. No one else is home to share it with. So...I thought I'd get it out of my head, here in my journal. However silly or boring I may seem, this is my life.
God, I can't wait for the bus to bring Stephen home. I miss that lil' booger so much when he's at school. I've been busy trying to get caught up on house work and realized, today is the day the housekeeper comes. (Every Tuesday at 2:00) Last week, she didn't have anything to do once she got here either. She was a big help with Stephen, and prepared his snack. But, other than that, she and I sat, and talked and played with Stephen for 2 hours. I've never had the luxury of someone else doing my dishes, mopping, dusting, laundry...etc. I just don't "feel right" about letting someone else do it. But, Stephen will lose his waiver if I don't take advantage of some type of service. Just feels wrong though. His case worker and I are hoping that this young woman and Stephen will bond, and she can become our respite provider in the future. She has 2 children of her own, so I know she should be experienced with child care. I can't imagine, his daddy and I going out to dinner, just the two of us. Or to the movies. Or even a walk...all alone for 4 or 6 whole hours! We've done it before, and sadly...we have nothing to talk about, except Stephen. This is not a healthy sign. Is that parenthood? Or...a bad sign? I feel it's a bad sign.
::sigh:: That little ground squirrel made me think about lots of things today. I value life, and when I witness something like that, it makes me think about the important things.
Today~For the first time in ...about 2 years, we took Stephen to the movies. We saw Scooby Doo, and it was funny. (I really wanted to see, "13 going on 30", but I was out-numbered by the guys) The first (and last) movie that Stephen saw at the theater was "Snow Dogs." He loves any movie or cartoon with a dog in it. We don't go to the movies often... The last movie his daddy and I saw together was, "My Cousin Vinny" and you know how old that movie is. I just can't believe how expensive it is to go to the movies! For 2 adults, and one child, popcorn and coke, it was almost $30! For the matinee! How in the world can teenagers afford to date these days!?! No wonder there are so many teens using drugs and alcohol...it's cheaper than the movies, or going out to eat. Forget doing both! Isn't that pitiful?
Anyway~ I am trying to not complain too much about the price of the movie. See, this week was a week of hell for my poor baby, and he deserved the treat. I won't go into detail, but trust me...it was a week we better not ever have to relive again. He was supposed to have gone on the 4th grade field trip to the zoo yesterday, but because of his ...experience, he wasn't able to go. Not to mention, his poor mama nearly broke her baby left toe. And, I don't even know how I did it. How goofy can one woman be, to injure a body part and not even remember how she did it? I limped for 2 days, but I'm fine now.
::Sigh of relief:: We all needed a funny movie, popcorn, coke ...and a song, sung by Ruben today. We'll survive. :)
That’s me. Wait until the last second to do things. I procrastinated on this one for a while. Everyone else has already done this. So, here goes nothing.
1. I am not a natural blond (as IF you couldn’t see my dark roots in the pics) My natural hair color is dark, reddish brown. I also have to use a straightening iron and lots of products to fight the waves that are in all the wrong places.
2. Even when I am depressed, I have the ability to put it aside for my alone time and be cheerful, fooling everyone (even myself at times) into believing I am happier than the average person.
3. I hate change.
4. I live with an innate fear of…well, everything. #1 fear is driving outside my hometown. I hate the interstate, and I have panic attacks. My 2nd largest fear is water that is deeper than I am tall. I’ve tried to learn, but still cannot swim. Maybe this explains the nightmares of tidal waves and drowning? Again, panic attacks.
5. I was an easy target for bullies in school, and everyone of them was drawn to me, like a magnet.
6. I used to suffer from social anxiety, but my ex husband was good therapy for me, and helped bring me out of it. (so did, being a hairdresser. Can’t be a hairdresser, stay quiet, and keep them coming back. No, can‘t be done)
7. I have a strong Southern accent. Freee and SloMo can testify to this.
8. I lean toward Catholic beliefs, although I was raised Protestant. I pray with rosary beads, which are on my nightstand, and I take them with me when/if I leave home for overnight trips. I have felt a stronger connection to God and a peace I cannot explain since I started doing this.
9. I used to do a lot of fishing and camping. I really miss that. To me, breakfast and coffee smells and tastes better when it’s been cooked on a campfire.
10. I used to hunt with my daddy sometimes, but I didn’t have the heart to shoot a defenseless animal. (I really don’t care for venison)
11. I used to own a revolver, and I’m a pretty good shot if I dare say so, myself. I used to target practice about 2 times a week. It’s been years since I have fired a handgun though. I am afraid of automatics, just don’t like to shoot’em.
11. We bought a tent 8 years ago. It’s still in the spare bedroom closet in the box. ::sigh::
12. My family is very close. My relationship with my cousins is more like siblings. So, even though I only have 1 brother, I feel like I have 9 brothers and 5 sisters. And I feel like all of their children are my nieces and nephews.
13. My mother’s approval means everything to me. I can’t do anything to please her and she reminds me at least once a week of the mistakes I’ve made. But, lucky for her, I am very forgiving and I *understand* her, so I don’t let it get me down. My daddy thinks I hang the sun every morning. J
14. I have a temper (believe it or not) and my feelings are easily hurt. But I am quick to forgive because I want peace and harmony. (I actually hate this about myself)
15. I am a Leo. That explains a lot.
16. I worry about my son every bit as much as I love him.
17. I cry at least once a day, but no one sees.
18. After reading my family tree, I learned that not only am I part Irish, I have Cherokee Indian in my blood. Maybe, this is why I am in a constant battle with myself? I don’t know..
19. I still scream like a little girl when I see a spider or bug. Or, a mouse.
20. I have very expensive taste. Unfortunately, we are struggling. What I miss the most is fine dining, and getting dressed up. Also, vacationing. L
21. I love all types of music. It is art for the ears and food for the soul.
22. I love to read. My favorite author right now is Nicholas Sparks. My favorite book by him is “The Rescue.” My favorite stories are based in the South, e.g. “Fried Green Tomatoes” and the like.
23. I took art lessons at the home of the man who drew the Arm and Hammer on the baking soda box. His name was Jim Redfield. He was a neighbor of my Aunt Bessie. I remember feeling honored to even get a bad grade from him. My brother was the artist in the family, and always made very good grades. Mr. Redfield’s son, James, has written several books. Very interesting reads…
24. (really running out of things to say, I could never have done the 100 things) Hmm, My eyes are very dark brown, almost black. My husband swears they turn deep red in color when I am angry. I am very short. 5’ 01” and right now, I weigh about 105. I go from 95-115 according to how much stress I am under.
25. Grasping at straws for something to add… My favorite male singer is Steve Perry of Journey. Remember? (late 70’s - 80’s) I still melt when I hear one of those old songs. ..And of course, I have always loved Elton John. This list goes on and on. I’ll stop here.
Man!… This was hard.
April 23rd 2001, Mamaw entered the gates of Heaven.
We still miss you, and wish you were here.
Give Papaw a hug and a kiss for me….
Hugs and Kisses ~
Mia
