Sketchy

 
















I'm not quite sure why, but for the first time in about 23 years or so, I picked up a pencil and pad and started to sketch again today. I came very close to buying a sketch pad and other supplies the other day, but said, "Eh, I don't have time for drawing. Haven't had the desire in years. It'll pass." But tonight I was watching Stephen as he watched one of his favorite movies on HBO [Mrs. Doubtfire] and I was suddenly inspired to "sketch" him. He is so cute when he sits directly under the big TV and looks up at it that way, instead of sitting across the room from it like we do. And I swear, he smiled through the entire movie!

Although very rusty as you can see...I wondered why I stopped doing this years ago. At one time, I was actually pretty good at it. My brother is the real artist in the family, and as far as I know he hasn't painted in years either.  I guess, like me, he just got busy living life and stopped enjoying the little pleasures of life so much. I suppose we all do that as we get older. Life becomes so demanding.
I'm  thinking about picking up some art supplies and start enjoying the simple things again.
...Or, maybe it'll pass. :)

A Dozen Years...

So yesterday was our 12th wedding anniversary. 

Bittersweet milestone ...
My very, very personal life is one that I do not talk about much.
It's too complicated. My journal is an escape from my complicated life.
That being said, I'll speak of only one layer:  Our evening out last night.

Earlier in the week, I asked my mama if she would baby-sit Stephen for us so we could for the 1st time in at least two years celebrate our anniversary. This was the first year in a long time we even remembered, or chose to remember our anniversary. She agreed, as long as we could be back to pick him up by 7:00. Yeah, you heard me right, 7:00 PM. [That explains a lot!]

This was our 2nd date night since the middle of December! We had dinner at O'Charley's. We even beat the early-bird senior citizens to the restaurant! They started to arrive around 4:15. We had the usual conversation, it went something like this:
What are  you going to order?
Hm, dunno. You?
Dunno. I think I'll have the ribeye.
I think I'll have the grilled shrimp.
How's your steak?
Fine. How's your shrimp?
Fine.
[I sure wish she'd hurry with the check already, before we explode from this invigorating conversation! I mean, I just don't think I can take the excitement much longer!]
As I quietly chewed, I became fixated on a couple who were well into their 70's. They were seated behind Stephen's dad, so I had to strain my ears to hear their conversation. [yeah, I know. But I've always been nosy] So cute, they were. The man slowly guided the woman to their seat with his hand at the small of her back. He held her hand softly as she sat down. He then seated himself, adjusted his bifocals and started to look the menu over. They also asked one another what he/she was going to have. But there was a different tone. A tone of affection. I could see the man's face, but not the woman's. Her back was facing me and all I could see was her hair which had been freshly shampooed and set as most women of that age do once a week. I had a clear view of the gentleman. I admired the way he adored his wife. The way he looked at her with years of appreciation while giggling and discussing their grandchildren. They were not struggling for words, they were engaged in conversation. I found myself longing for what they have, but I was filled with disbelief that we'd ever reach a point that we would hold one other in that regard. I began to wonder, have they always been this way? Or is this something that comes after years of knowing hard times together, and overcoming those hard times together? That's got to be it. I pray to God that is true.

I heard Stephen's dad say, "What is it?" I shook my head and said, "Nothing. I was just admiring that couple behind you." I then decided to take a good friends advice and I started going  back in time and remembering the man I met all those years ago. Something had to cause a spark in the beginning. Is it still there?
What attracted you to your partner? For me, it was the ability he had in making me laugh. He made me laugh without effort. He still has a "Jim Carrey" sort of way of making me laugh, even when I don't want to.
After a while, I started saying things like, "Remember that time...." And before I knew it, we were laughing and talking. Then next thing we knew, it was time to pick Stephen up from my parent's house.

We brought him home. Bathed him, brushed his teeth and all of the other bedtime routine stuff. I played a computer game with him that he believes he is supposed to play every single night before going to bed.
After I told him good night, I closed the door and walked into the kitchen to make a glass of iced tea.  I heard the front door open and heard my husband of 12 years say, "It's a nice evening out. It's kind of cool, but nice. Do you want to come out here and sit on the porch with me?" I was planning on coming in here and surfing J-Land, but said, "Yeah, I'll be right there." He had 2 candles lit and a light blanket was waiting in my chair for me [I get cold easy]. We stayed on the porch and talked and laughed and then talked some more until 11:30. We blew out the candles, came back in the house and checked on Stephen one more time before going to bed. We looked down at him, and then at each other and smiled -- knowing, he is the best thing we've ever done together. Maybe someday we'll be like that couple. Maybe, we are on our way there right now....

Please Allow Me To Brag

Two entries in one day? Well, I just couldn't help myself. You can see why. I'm beaming! Stephen loves to participate in art and music. This is his first art project this year. Not too shabby, eh? Of course, someone helped him with the scissors and glue, but I've watched and they let the children pretty much guide themselves in art with hand over hand assistance when needed.

I am slowly replacing all of my home decor with Stephen's originals. This baby is going in a frame.

Let me ask you~What do you see?

Meanwhile you might enjoy visiting the VSA Arts OF Alabama where you can meet some of Birmingham's very special and talented artists. I can't believe that I am just now finding out about this! This month's featured artist has an interesting story behind her art. There will be an auction soon, but I don't know all of the details yet. If I heard correct, I believe you can participate online!  

This is a program I would like to have Stephen involved in someday.

Enjoy your weekend!

I see a man and woman, dancing. It looks like "the dip" to me.

Back To School

I am NOT ready for summer to be over. Yesterday was Stephen's 1st day back to school. I tossed and turned all night, Wednesday night. I woke up, sick with a tummy ache yesterday morning.

When Stephen was younger, it was easier to send him to school. The classrooms were smaller. The students were less judgmental, and more accepting. Next year, good Lord willing, he'll be in 6th grade! Gosh, time is zooming by too fast. He should actually be in the 6th this year, but we held him back in K-5. He's so small for his age. He doesn't look like he's almost 12 does he? He still wears a size 7.

Yesterday, we walked him to class. He went around the room and said, "hey!" to everyone, hugged them and patted them on the back. He then did it once more, just to make sure no one was left out. He made it back around to where I was, grabbed my hand and walked to the door and looked back at everyone as if to say, "Sure was good to see y'all again! See ya later!" Although I had been trying to prepare him for the last two weeks that it was almost time for school again, I don't think he was paying attention to what I was saying. I should have used the picsyms of "school" - "school bus"- etc. I think he would have understood me better if I had made it more simple for him to understand.

Enough of the over protective-mother stuff. ...Remember the first day of school? The smell? A smell of crayons, paint, and freshly sharpened pencils. The feeling of fall in the air. The ole butterflies in the tummy. I swear, I relived every memory yesterday morning. I saw a little girl standing outside her classroom with her mother and new teacher. The little girl's curly blonde hair was in a pony tail. She was wearing a pink jumpsuit and sandals, ...and she was crying. Oh, boy...I wanted to cry too when I saw that. From the conversation they were having, I could tell that she was new here and doesn't know anyone yet.

What else was so special about the beginning of a new school year? For me, it was getting a new pair of shoes! [Check out Stephen's new shoes in the photo! He also loves a new pair of shoes..just like his mama.] I've always been quite the shoe snob. I become emotionally attached to my shoes. Every pair has a story to tell. Yes...my shoes were always an important part of the school year. However, about the time I got the first scuff mark, I was beginning to hate school. Thank God, Stephen isn't like me in that department! He enjoys school, the more he goes. I'm the one who hates so much to let go. As hard as I try to "talk it up" I think he senses that I worry about him, and maybe that's why he took my hand and started to leave yesterday. He always watches my reaction to things. If I have negative vibes he picks up right away. I've learned something amazing about people who are nonverbal. They are far more sensitive than the rest of us. I believe it's because they have to rely on their senses more than we do. We all have that ability, but I don't think we listen to our instincts enough.

We survived the first day! My heart ached as I had to let go of his hand and walk out of the classroom. I found myself thinking of him and worrying thoughout the day. I held both LambChop puppets after I made his bed. Finally at five minutes till three, the bus brought him home, safe and sound. He looked down from the window as Miss Donna helped undo his seat belt and smiled that big smile at me! He hugged Miss Penny's neck before she helped him down the steps and then practically, jumped into my arms! He smelled like the peanut butter and banana sandwich I packed in his lunch, crayons and...some other school-funk I can't describe. He hurried over as fast as he could to his daddy for hugs and kisses. I could sense that he'd had a happy day, but he sure was happy to be home! He was happy to get on the bus this morning. He looked back and smiled till they were out of sight. ::sigh:: So here I am, not knowing what to do with myself. It's going to take a while for me to adapt! First, I need rest. Then I will look for part time work.

So that is all that is new. Vacation photos still to come. I'm so very behind in everything!

The Solved Mystery

Only three online friends have my physical address.  My J-Land friends-Freee and SloMo. Plus, my very first online pal who I've been friends with for...umm, about 7 years or so. She lives in Massachusetts, and she was the only one I hadn't asked yet. I did say that it would be just like her to do this.  LambChop was mailed from New Hampshire, which is where 'Dee' finally found one after putting off sleep, determined to find a new Lamby for Stephen one night. 

She and I call each other, "sis" (among other nicknames, lol!) Two things brought Deirdre and I together those years ago. Her daughter, Serena, and my son, Stephen. They both have Cerebral Palsy. We met on an AOL message board where we had both been seeking for answers. We didn't really find answers, for there aren't any easy answers when you have a child suffering from any form of disability. But what we did find, was so valuable! Friendship. A friendship that started out as two desperate mothers, searching for answers, but instead, found another mother, miles away who knew her pain.  Friends and family sympathize, and hurt for us and our children, but can't really understand on the same level because they haven't felt it to the core. That is why we call each other, sis. When we say, "I know your pain," we really know, to the deepest level of that pain.

We have even more in common. We are both hair stylists. We've had more than just the pains and joys of motherhood stories to share. We've also shared the pain and joys of the salon life. Putting home and family above salon. That was hard to do, but something else that we coached each other through. 

We have shared so many cyber hugs, tears and laughter. Oh, and recipes! How could I forget, recipes! We've watched each other's children grow up, online. We've shared every birthday party picture.  I know she's only an e-mail away at all times :)

{{{Thanks, Dee!}}} Stephen is still treating his new lamby very nice. He hasn't tried to flush her down the toilet once! ....Yet. But she's witnessed the abuse of Lamby #1 and like the toys on "Toy Story," she knows her time is coming. God Bless her!  He now carries both of them everywhere he goes!

To The Person(s) Responsible For This...

Finally...A moment to update. I've been trying like crazy to catch up with all of you. Everyone has been so busy with the first year anniversary celebration while we've been gone! Several of my favorite journals made editor's pick this week! Many of my faves won awards! YAY! Can it get any better?

Why...yes it can! There is an angel among us, journalers! There are many, many angels in J-land, as far as I am concerned. But one in particular (I have NO idea, who) sent Stephen an amazing gift, which arrived the day after our beach trip.

Stephen and I were visiting my mama last week when Stephen's daddy called and said that Stephen had a package on the front porch when he got here and asked if I wanted him to open it or wait. Of course, I told him to open it...and when he did, he cut right through the return address. I can make out the address, but not the full name. There was no note. I didn't recognize the address. So, it's a mystery to us. We have NO idea who the thoughtful and caring person is. Only, it must be someone who reads my journal, and knows that poor lamby needed to retire.  I've been looking for a puppet JUST like this one for ages. Stephen was thrilled to pieces! As  you can see.

As far as I know, I've never mentioned our last name here in my journal. Only a few of you know my full name and physical address and you know who you are, and y'all claim to know nothing about this special delivery. I've asked every family member and neighbor that we have. Not a soul has admitted it. Whoever you are, you know and God knows, and if that's the way you want to keep it, I'll respect that. From the bottom of my heart, I want to say, "thank you!" You've done far more than a good deed, you've made Stephen's day, week, month ... and year! . He truly loves her with all his heart.

I'll return soon with vacation pictures, and also I took a last minute trip with some of my family members, (mostly, a girls over night out) leaving Stephen with his daddy for a full 24 hours. First time, ever! I must say, it felt kinda good to get away, and I've made myself a promise to do it more often.

Check back soon!

I'll catch up soon...

Back Soon!