Gifts From The Heart

This is not the entry I had planned, but I will get back to that as soon as I can...

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Well, another chapter in my life's story is almost complete. This weekend, I will close chapter 37. Saturday, I'll turn 38. ::sigh::

I had to run some errands for my mama today and when I got there, she told me that aunt Ressie had just left. I hate I didn't get to see her, but I'll see her next week, when I visit her. Her birthday is the 27th and we always make a big deal out of our b'days being so close. We usually have coffee and good conversation while exchanging gifts. She wanted to make sure that I had mine before going to the beach, so I'd have something good to read while there. We've made it a custom to buy books for each other. A very interesting book this year! "A Persuaded Heart" by Gladys Hunt. A Woman's Potential for Genuine Freedom.  When I read the first line, I knew it was for me.

First sentence reads:: Everybody has to feel good about themselves for some reason. The need is built-in.  It's part of being made in the image of God.

God bless aunt Ressie. She has always known that although mama and daddy gave me everything I needed and wanted while growing up, there was one very important thing missing. Self Confidence! Maybe some children need to be reminded of their self worth...A lot! If that is so, I was that kind of child. For as long as I can remember, I never felt that I was good enough. I didn't feel that I could overcome anything. I was always afraid. Afraid of what? Afraid of trying. Afraid of failing. So...I would avoid anything that I felt was too difficult for me.  Mama and daddy did what they thought was best. They didn't push me to be all that I could be. I would decide something was too hard and instead of hearing, "you're smart, you're tough, you can do it!" I heard, "well, honey, whatever makes you happy. Just do your best."  Well, in my eyes, my best wasn't good enough. Ever. So I would walk away, feeling disappointed in myself. Burying myself deeper and deeper into a grave of self pity, and doubt. Evading every challenge before me. I believe that because of this, I didn't do well with serious relationships. If the going got tough, I would get going, by completely repudiating the relationship. I never looked back. That is, until I was given the blessed gift of Stephen. :) Now, I am finally learning things about myself I never knew, and wouldn't in a million years ever believed in.  I am finally believing what aunt Ressie has been trying to tell me for years. I am worth something. If I try hard enough, I can overcome many obstacles. My favorite coffee mug was a gift from Ressie. It says, "Begin each day believing in yourself!" When I opened it, she said, "See what that says? I want you to promise me that you'll do that every-single morning!"  I promised her that I would, and I do.

I was so busy, digging through my gift bag, I overlooked one of my favorite things in the world! The card.  I know that she must pray before she buys my gifts and cards, that she will be led to buy exactly what I need at the time. It was a lovely card. A picture of birds, gathered at a bird feeder.  The inside reads:

I thank Him for letting me share this special day with you.

Happy Birthday!
Love and Prayers! I love you!

Aunt Ressie

Then at the bottom in small font, it reads:

"The fruit of the spirit is love..."
Galations 5:22  [No kidding, I had just been reading those words and trying to apply them, daily!]

::She also gave me-the gorgeous lamp with the ruby red shade and beads!  She knows me so well! I love red-red-red! I tend to decorate with a lot of deep ruby reds, and deep greens with natural tones in the background :: 

update:: If you click on the link above [A Persuaded Heart] you too can read the book online!